Archive for the 'unhealthy' Category

Week 10 Weigh In, Or Lack Thereof

Sep. 28th 2010

"view from where I sit this evening"

My personal relationship with the scale, is the same relationship with the scale I try to help my clients foster.  The scale is one of many tools we can use or abuse in our quest for wellness.  My overarching goal is to live a life of integrity.  To demonstrate through action the person I want to be, and the person I say I am.  These days, most often the scale is an appropriate accountability tool that I use in conjunction with many other tools to that end.  I have made particularly good use of the scale as evidence, and a touchstone, when deep down I know I have not been taking great care of myself (week 9 weigh in) as one example.

 
This last Friday I made a decision not to weigh myself.  None of my rings have been fitting.  My tummy bulges over the waistband on the new smaller sized pants I had previously purchased.  My eyes look small and puffy.  My brown leather boots grab my calves contemptuously.  I’m not going to get into a song and dance about what my monthly cycle is doing to my body chemistry because who really wants to hear about that, but I will tell you this:  I chose not to weigh myself for fear of disrupting the glorious balance I have enjoyed this last week and a half.  Although I have been afflicted with ails that only a severely hormonally imbalanced woman could understand, I am now fortunate enough to realize this is a seperate entity entirely from my committment to myself and my health.  My body not only felt like devouring a whole chocolate cake, it actually felt like I  did devour a whole chocolate cake, when in fact I did not.  Historically, feeling like I had devoured a whole chocolate cake without having actually devoured it, would certainly be a trigger to just go devour.  Afterall, why pay the price in my body without the benefit in my tastebuds?  Feeling sluggish, dull, bloated, and unnattractive is a breeding ground for compulsive eating.  I’m not going to say I wasn’t tempted, because I was.  But what really matters, is not what happened or didn’t happen on the scale, but that I stuck to my food plan, I completed week 1 of training for “8 weeks to 10K“, and I commenced week 2.

 

It’s not like the thrills I remember from the old days, skipping meals in order to shimmy into skin tight jeans for the night, giddy dizzy spells following food deprived gym-sessions, and a caffeine buzz that “fortified” me through the entire day…but the thrill I know now, is something far more moving, and more emotional; something that actually fills that emptiness inside me like caffeine (or every thing else I tried) just never could.  I can wake up, I can lace up my sneakers, I can eat a yogurt, and I can run each day stronger, faster, more confident, and breathing deeper than I did the day before.  I can feel not my best, in fact I can feel downright awful, but I do it anyway.  Because this is who I am now….and I’m unwilling to risk some fluke reading on that scale messing with my identity.

Relea”Na…Thanks anyway.”

Aug. 20th 2010

One of my oldest, dearest friends called me up and asked me to comment on Releana personally and professionally. She handles marketing for a progressive medical practice in an urban community in the Northeast. Releana?? What’s that? I asked her. She roughly explained the premise to me as a physician prescribed, medically supervised weight loss program involving a hormone. My further research into the product taught me that Releana is a brand name product featuring a property called HCG, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, a naturally produced hormone found in pregnant women’s placentas and excreted through the urine. HCG allegedly enables your body to break down fat cells not normally reachable by diet and exercise alone. The claim is, you take the hormone, you combine it with the prescribed diet, and you lose weight….massive amounts of weight, like up to a pound a day. Additionally, the research cited on the Releana website claims that subjects taking HCG “coped more efficiently with daily irritating situations, were in a better mood, and handled home conflicts without stepping up family discussions.” Sounds pretty amazing, doesn’t it?

I will attempt harness the intense emotional response I am currently having, and calmly clarify a couple points. FYI, the prescribed Releana diet is called “VLCD.” That stands for Very Low Calorie Diet…500 calories a day. To put that into common context, that would be like 10 points on Weight Watchers. That would be like ½ a pint of ice cream. That would be like a yogurt, an apple, and two pieces of bread. For the day. And with regard to mood, most people losing weight rapidly are in a good mood.

Why does losing weight rapidly put people in a good mood? It’s not because of a hormone. It’s because people who are struggling with their weight are tortured. They’re tortured by society’s message that they’re lazy slobs. They’re tortured by the 40 billion dollar diet industry that whispers to them seductively “this will be the last time I will ask you to shell out a couple hundred bucks…this time you’re gonna be happy.” They’re tortured by the fact that Fatism is the last acceptable prejudice in our society. In order to subsist, the diet industry counts on this consumer misery, and subsequent weight loss failures. If you read the fine print of almost any diet out there, pills, hormones, shakes, points, even Gastric Bypass Surgery, you are being asked to follow that company’s interpretation of some type of modification to what you consume. Any time your caloric intake is less than the calories you expend, you will eventually lose weight. Therefore, most of those diets encompassed beneath this 40 billion dollar umbrella do work if utilized properly and “as prescribed,” Releana included. This is why so many of these companies can afford to offer money back guarantees. They count on the fact that the consumer will not be able to follow it properly. Then obviously you can’t blame the product.

My heart was broken perusing the posts of individuals taking Releana. The abundant internet chatter left nothing to my imagination of what these consumers are experiencing. The commentary spans like a wild pendulum back and forth between euphoric I’ve-found-the-meaning of-life reverie, to the crushing defeat captured in I-can’t-believe-I’ve-gone-and-done-this-again lamentations. As compulsive eaters, like all addicts, we are people of extremes. When we are high-as-kites, on top of our game, (“I was so GOOD this week!!!”) we are actually setting the stage for our rapid descent back into depths of despair, empty inside, and envious of others (“I’ve been so BAD lately.”) The internet reactions to Releana are predictably consistent with this mindset, and leave me feeling discouraged and troubled by my peer group’s fear and hopelessness.

In short, I want to emphasize that I do not blame the diet industry for our failures at weight loss. Nor do I blame America’s obesity problem on McDonalds serving Supersize Fries. I may gain weight from eating Supersize Fries, but I appreciate my God given right to choose to do so if I wish. I may choose to take Releana, and just not worry right now about what will happen to my weight when I come off the hormone, what it would be like to maintain that weight consuming 500 calories a day for the rest of my life, and how 500 calories a day is contributing to my dwindling muscle mass, stressed organs, dull skin and thinning hair.

For today, even though they’re yummy, McDonalds fries actually make me feel like $#%&, and so I choose not to eat them. For today, I choose to eat the amount of calories that fill me up (which I predict is going to be more than 500), and I will do it with foods that seem to me, to fuel my body. I choose to trust myself that I am able to determine these things. I choose to believe that if for some reason I go off course, I will find my way back again if I commit to treating my body with the respect and love it deserves. I choose to recognize and accept that I will not lose a pound a day functioning like this. I choose to continue to wrap my brain around the fact that this journey I’m on has no real end point, and that’s ok. As a result of my choices, I feel rational, even, not fearful, not euphoric, and not empty. Oh and P.S., it didn’t cost me a dime.

Posted by Love Hungry | in releana, society, unhealthy, weight Loss | 4 Comments »