Love Not Lipo ... Live a Little, Love a Lot

Although my progress often feels somewhat intangible to me, it was pretty powerful to take a look at some before and afters 6 months into personal training:

 

Before…                                                After….

(If you want to see the ORIGINAL and most dramatic ”before,” check out the “about tab” of my blog.  At one of my lowest and sickest points, and 80 pounds heavier 15 years ago)  Yes it really has taken 15 years to heal.  This is a process.

Forgive the cheesiness of the myspace-esque self portraits and the scary wallpaper background, but here are a few more “afters” :

My trainer Terry Muscleflow at Global Fitness in Malta and I did a lot of hard work together these last six months, but I would say the biggest shift for me during that time was establishing a new habit of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.  I experienced the sensation of really pushing my body to the physical limit and this is something I never would have been able to do without someone introducing the concept, and motivating me to learn I could do it.  The awesome thing about committing to something for a significant chunk of time is that you establish a new habit or ingrained behavior.  In other words, it no longer feels unatural to work this hard, and in fact it feels unnatural if I work out too easy.

It is at this point after 6 months of personal training that I am going back out on my own armed with these new tools.  I have worked out since I was 16 years old, but I have never felt so innately connected to my physicality, and my bodies need for nutrition and hard core exercise.  The fitness lifestyle is no longer something I have to endure, but rather something that I crave and need to feel “normal.” I’ve noticed that I do not feel upset when I eat certain foods or miss a workout, for I am so certain that these behaviors are hardwired into my lifestyle indefinitely, and therefore there’s never any reason to obsess or feel scared about outcomes.  This is not a race.  Just a lifestyle.

Examples of my lifestyle include an awesome rain soaked run in the state park with my dad and brother, (and Todd and Jake, not pictured):

Plenty of fish and dark green vegetables to eat:

And one of these now and again:

I love visualizing and talking about my body as an efficient fat burning machine.  Thinking in this manner not only makes me feel more relaxed and confident, thus keeping cortisol levels balanced in my bodyand contributing to weight loss, it also makes me feel motivated to continue being active because I am constantly giving myself the message that I am an active person.

Being on my own again without scheduled sessions with my trainer has required that I figure out a way to make sure I am getting a variety of forms of exercise into the nooks and crannies of my week, and balancing that with the proper nutrition the majority of the time, and opportunities to ejoy my favorite foods from time to time as well.  Today I handled this by waking up early and doing this time management and healthy lifestyle exercise:

1)Take a piece of white paper and draw lines vertically dividing it into 4 columns.

2) Above one column write “This weeks meals” and numbers one through six with adequate space between each number, below it.

3) In the second column write at the top “Grocery list”

4) In the third column write “workout schedule” and label it Monday through Saturday with enough space in between below

5) In the forth column write “to do”

Now move forward in filling each colum out.

6) I have no problem eating the same things every day for one week straight.  I eat six small meals so there is enough variation throughout the day, and it saves money and time doing one set menu for a week, then changing it out the following Sunday. In the “this weeks meals column” think of six small (200-300 calorie) balanced meals and write one next to each of the numbers.  Here is my meal plan for the week as an example:

1. 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, mixed with 2 Tbsp dried cranberries, 1 Tbsp Chia seeds, and 2/3 cup unsweetened almond milk (I do not cook my oats, just eat them raw. They absorb the milk and are chewy and delicious.  Sometimes I mix it all together the night before and put it in the fridge and it’s even better.
2. Arbonne protein shake
3. 100 calorie whole wheat bagel thin with 2 oz turkey, spinach, cucumbers, basil and whole grain mustard
4. 1 cut up empire apple, and 1/4 cup mixed nuts
5. 5 ounces salmon or tuna, 2 cups raw spinach tossed with 1 Tbsp vinagrette dressing
6. yogurt, or fruit bar, or skinny cow ice cream sandwich, or fruit salad

7)  Write in the grocery list column anything you don’t have in the house for your weekly meal plan.

8.) In the “work out schedule” column, make a list of everything you intend to do, working it around your committments for the upcoming week. Here’s mine:

1. Sunday (today): Run in the AM, 15 minutes of strength training DVD, plus 20 pushups, and 20 dips
2. Monday: 5am run in the park
3. Tuesday:AM- 5am run in the park PM- stair mill at the gym, 3 sets of lat pull downs, chest presses
4. Wednesday: 5am run
5. Thursday: AM- 5am run, 15 minutes of strength training DVD, 3 sets of each leg-1 minutes of jumping on one foot, hands in prayer position
6. Friday: AM- 5am run
7. Saturday: rest
8. Sunday: AM- run PM- 15 minutes strength training DVD, 20 pushups, 20 dips

9) And finally in the forth column, make a list of everything this week that you need to accomplish that is out of the ordinary.  I have a list of about 8 things listed that have to do with my evo-life business, and my arbonne business.

Todd and I are off to my moms for dinner and wedding planning.

Have a great week!

As I mentioned, I had been on a hiatus from Lovenotlipo for a while, because I had been hard at work on a bunch of very exciting projects!!! It seems that there is never any “perfect” time to reveal everything, for one thing is always hinging on another so without further ado:

1) I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!!!!

Yes, you may not have known I wore braces, because I definitely kept it on the down low for almost two years.  My genetic defect of two baby teeth that never fell out, and my unwillingness to deal with it as a teenager lead me to have to go through this physically, emotionally, and financially, in my thirties.  When I was 16 I told my mom I would get braces when the search for my husband was over, and that’s exactly what I did!  My stubborness simply resulted in my having to pay for it instead of my parents, and my having braces when no one else does, instead of when everyone does!  Whenever I talk about how incredibly thrilled I am to have the braces off, people continue to give me the feedback that they did not even really notice the braces on.  Such a metaphor for life.  The things that bother us the most usually are a non issue for others, whereas the things we should be thinking about how we convey ourselves to others, we miss.

2) I got certified in Hypnotherapy!!  Evo-Life Counseling and Coaching is now a Hypnotherapy Practice too, and I am already busy enhancing the lives of my beautiful clients by installing new mindsets through hypnotherapy.  I am offering incredible discounts for friends and family.  Hypnotherapy provides powerful treatment for smoking cessation, weight loss, sports performance, creativity, sleep disorders, panic disorders…anything you want to ameliorate in your life, so contact me to commence hypnotherapy.

3) Evo-Life got a total Facelift!  The home office needed to reflect the lightness of being the company endorses…

Before:

After:

4) Evo-Life the website got a facelift, and man was it a good team of plastic surgeons!! I hired Simpson Square Media Group to handle my website and media development and words cannot describe how inspiring and creative this process has been.  This team of people is phenomenal, believes in my product, and took my vision to new heights.  This is going to be a big year for Evo-Life, and I am so grateful to have the support of such creative and brilliant professionals at my side.

5) Wedding planning, this really deserves it’s own post.  Stay tuned.  Let’s just say I’m grateful to have a talented mother to help me because without delegating to an artist and event planner I trust as much as my mom, I’m not sure how I would pull off a wedding in…6 months. YIKES!!!

5) Personal training and my fitness goals continue to be an integral part of my life.  Terry pushes me when I cut corners which it’s easy to fall into with everything I’m trying to juggle. When my weight loss slows, I have still lost inches, and I am completely and utterly satisfied with the continued downward trend on the scale that has occurred since mid October of 2011.  I honestly could care less how long it takes to reach my goals.  I have effectively hardwired a wellness lifestyle into the nooks and crannies of my complex schedule, and I feel thrilled to have the structure, support and accountability that Terry’s personal training has afforded me, and I gotta tell ya, I’m looking pretty great lately, and I know for a fact, I will never go back to my former bad habits.  Even my skin is clearer and brighter from fitness and wholesome eating, inordinate amounts of fish and fish oil, and Arbonne vitamins and protein shakes.  Terry reminded me that if I am not fitting cardio in, I need to come up with a new plan.  So for the last month, my beautiful neighbor and I are  getting up at 5AM for runs in the dark 5-6 mornings a week.  We can’t wait till it’s light out!!

6) And finally, who’s excited for Love Not Lipo the book?  I am!  Hard at work writing a page here and there toward’s fufilling my life long dream to be a published author.  Out of my greatest struggles, were to come my greatest gifts.  I have an old friend who reminded me of this message all the time, and it has a new meaning in my life these days.

Loneliness can be conquered only by those who can bear solitude.  ~Paul Tillich

Within the richness of the last few months, I am surrounded by indescribable energy, love, and promise.   However, even in the busiest of times, with people all around me, I am prone to loneliness if I fail to find solitude, taking for granted my absolute best friend….me.  Till the end of my time here on earth, I will have been my own oldest and dearest companion, and I quickly recall that empty ache in the pit of my stomach when I do not make time to nurture this important bond with self.

Today amidst all the beautiful gifts and chaos of Eater Sunday, I found myself feeling restless and insecure, stretched thin and wondering what the future holds for me.  Thankfully I trusted and respected the notion that I do come back to center when I take myself to nature.  Why then not just go do it?  Why the procrastination and build-up prior, leading me to wipe the kitchen counters 15 times first, and repeatedly de-clutter the dining room table to no avail with my house full of guests? Why not just leave that house and all its unanswered questions instantly, and fill up my lungs with the clean air of a spring that’s still chilly, exhaling toxicity in return.  Even with all this rigmarole, I did make it out, thankfully.  I ran an unusual route this late Sunday morning, on a mystery grassy trail that ultimately brought me to the wetlands behind the neighborhood, stubby flexible twigs in the earth nipping at my ankles, calves aching pushing off the spongy April earth.  I wound back towards home on the packed dirt  paths of the cemetery beneath huge drooping pine trees.

And I remembered.  Happiness is much more simple to achieve than we often believe it to be.

What happens when try as you might, you cannot find 26 hours in a day?  How do you formulate your thoughts to your blogging community about how you’ve been making it to the gym about 50% of the established goal time?   What do you say about the fact that you’re not sure how could possibly envision training for a half marathon at this point while working full time and running two businesses?….so what if your NEW goals start to trump your old goals??? 

It is fear of people’s perception of me that was making me hesitate to re-evaluate my goals at this juncture.  I never want to be considered the kind of person who makes all kinds of big proclamations and doesn’t follow through.  However, what a journey I have been on, for it is now that I can see that it is the physical conditioning and detoxification I have undergone since last July responsible for the mental clarity that launched this next phase of my personal and professional development.  I am finally in a place where I am driven and inspired in a context that has no direct or indirect connection with my weight, body image, or relationship with food.   Hallelujah.

How easy it is to counsel in my private practice, or to my best friend: “Don’t be scared to try things.  Life is not finite.  For today, let this be your plan, tomorrow you may feel differently, and that’s wonderful!”   How much harder it is to remember to apply these concepts to my own life.  But it’s true…I am not abandoning running, and I am not abandoning LoveNotLipo.  In fact, recognizing the impact of those two entities in my life makes my heart swell with gratitude, reverance, and love and bring a tear to my eye.  On July 5th 2010 LoveNotLipo was born, and taking my emotional healing and physical conditioning to the next level, I have documented my journey faithfully ever since. 

I am incredibly fulfilled and excited at this point in my life.  I have learned to let some things go, like  I cannot always have immediate gratification for example…my laundry may take 2 weeks to fold…and I may eat protein shakes for dinner for a while.  Yet I have realized other things are far more valuable than I ever knew.  Listening to others is more important than talking…generousity of spirit is more important than being right…succeeding in helping others is more important than being the best…and never quitting is more important than winning. 

I wonder what the next gift will be?  Because I am awestruck that it just keeps getting better. 

I had my Arbonne business launch party this weekend, and I am physically exhausted, and emotionally and spiritually elated.  I  have met the most amazing and beautiful women inside and out, and I feel like a better person every day that I participate in this business model and company culture of self development.  The money and the amazing life changing wellness products are just a bonus.  My heart is open to life lessons that previously still had not been uncovered, no matter how much work I had done on myself, and that is the real gift. 

For today, I will strive to live a life of balance:  Recovery, faith, family, nutrition and physical activity, my career in mental health, and my entrepreneurial enterpises.  For today, this is what I choose.

Thanks to the “recalibration session,” yesterday was a total success!  Actually, not only did the day turn out rewarding and exciting, it actually opened up some new doors for me that I will share more about in the upcoming months after I work out some details.  What I can share about now is the delicious food I prepared for the week:

Breakfast: Honey Greek Yogurt with Walnuts, Coconut, and Banana for breakfast…

Broccoli “Pasta” with sauteed mushrooms, feta, parsley, and ground chicken meatballs for lunch…

An Ezekial Cinnamon Raisin Flourless Sprouted Grain English Muffin (chewy, dense, and YUMMY!!!!) with 1 Tbsp Almond Butter for snack…

For dinner I had essentially the same thing as lunch, but with big green garlic olives, feta, and parsley…

Mixed Berry Soy smoothie with cinnamon and stevia for desert! 

After I finished making all this, I raced off to Albany to make it to Fleet Feet in time to get fitted for my sneakers.  The customer service was amazing, and my buddy Max not only used one of these: (1982 throwback)

He observed me walk on a tiny indoor track, and then watched me run on a treadmill to see how my feet strike the ground.  Based on these assessments, he explained to me in lingo I did not retain the reasons why he was about to pick the shoes he picked.  He brought out three pairs, and we scrutinized each, one at a time.  After walking around and running on the treadmill for all 3, we finally ruled out the Adidas, the Asics, and settled on the winner, the Saucony Progrid Omni 9.   

They are far more sturdy feeling than my Nike Shox, and were the least “intrusive” of the three that I tried.  Max told me that the sneakers that you can feel the least, are the best choice.  It feels so reassuring to know I have footwear that is appropriate for my particular body.  Inspired by the whole process, and having met another one of my New Years Goals, I decided it was indicated to splurge a little more and buy some new running clothes.

When I was checking out, another really nice kid asked me “are you training for a race m’aam?”  How good do you think it felt to say, “well, I’m gonna run a half marathon in September.”

2 years ago I would have never believed you if you told me I was gonna have this experience.  Life is so funny.

I left the store feeling motivated and inspired, the perfect “refresh” I have been needing in my life lately.  I raced up to Clifton Park to meet my mom at an adorable place she’d suggested Mocha Lisa’s.  How have I not heard of this place??  I will certainly be bringing my honey back here for an inexpensive cozy date some lazy weekend afternoon. 

Well we had a lovely time, and definitely got each other inspired on some things to come…let’s just say it’s the next major step in my journey.   Stay tuned!!!!

Managing family and work stress in the middle of a long, icy winter leaves me sliding on the proverbial slippery slope towards loss of inspiration.  So much of getting out of a funk is about recalibrating the brain.  I woke up this morning humming with anxiety, noticing the clutter and mid winter filth all around me.

"Clutter"

"Filth"

I took a deep breath, and started with the basics.  I straightened up the kitchen, stripped the bed, threw some laundry in, and set up my materials for cooking for the week.  I made the conscious decision to invest an hour or two into sifting through my new magazines, with a healthy breakfast, and a cup of coffee.  I decided to try not to stress about the blog, and trust that the ideas and inspiration would eventually just come.

"Breakfast"

Honey flavored Greek Yogurt (the best) with 2 Tbsp walnuts, 1 Tbsp unsweetened shredded coconut, and a small sliced banana.

Todd bought me Runners World for Christmas, and it’s like a little book of happiness that comes to me once a month.  I really appreciate that so many of the articles are geared towards “non-experts,” and the running-speak got me smiling and feeling immediately at ease remembering my autumn runs in the state park.  Now I’m sitting here feeling the promise of spring being around the corner, and validated that of course I’m feeling less inspired lately pent up in the house and the gym, and what a great time to have focused on strength training…how smart of me!

It also got me thinking back on my goals, one of which was to be fitted for new running sneakers by February 1st.  Yikes!  Today is Janauary 30th!  Moments later my mom called me and said that she would love to get together for coffee.  Now I have incentive to get moving and get my cooking done, because all of a sudden, I’ve got my inspiration back!

So you see, just by briefly immersing myself into something that feuls me, I almost instantly turned a blah overwhelming morning into a day filled with the promise of love and inspiration.

As my readers know, I’m currently obsessed with Body for Life.  B f L is mostly a strength training program, with a more moderate interval training cardio component.  Lately I’ve been surfing the net to learn new exercises, then I stick them in the Body for Life training format, and keep it fresh.  Thanks to YouTube I’m watching the angle of my tricep re-emmerge.  I’m loving the sense of power I feel propelling my body up a flight of stairs courtesy of 5 sets of 80 pound barbell squats 2 times a week. 

However to keep me thinking forward, and thinking fit, I’ve already started fantasizing about my half marathon.  Granted it may seem kinda silly to be thinking about September in January, but how better to stay true to New Years Resolutions then to continue to think about them all the time?  I printed out the registration form today, and looked at the pictures taken along the route and really felt that pang.  I miss you Running!! I’m excited to see you this Fall!!

So I went with the inspiration, and started researching half marathon preparation and found this cool training schedule:

So according to this program matching up to the calendar/race day, I would start this training program on July 3rd, exactly one year to the exact weekend since I created LoveNotLipo.  That gives me chills. 

I am keenly aware of the fact that many people read along with me could care less about my fitness goals, or their own fitness goals.  But you know what? This is actually not about fitness whatsoever.  Being free from addictions….being happy, is so much about replacing the emptiness inside you with a sense that something matters; that something is bigger than you, that if you just keep having the courage to feel the feelings and show up and be present anyway, no matter what life throws your way, everything will truly all be O.K. in the end.

I always emphasize to my clients the importance of specificity in developing goals.  I made sure I had representation of spiritual,  physical, aesthetic, natural, and financial areas in my goals.  The optimism of a new year has filled me with a freedom and lightness these last few days in reflecting on how I would like to define 2011…. 

• Get fitted for ideal running sneakers by February 1st
• Complete Body for Life by March 5th, then determine next full body fitness program
• Participate in at least 4 community service/charity events this year 
• Redesign my sunroom and office
• Blog 3 times per week minimum
• Limit desert/dark chocolate to 3 times per week
• Facilitate 4 new marketing opportunities for my business
• Pay off 1/3 0f my debt, minimum, by January 2012
• Run the Adirondack Half Marathon this September (so scary, but so exciting) Register by February 1st
• Do or say one thing that is uncomfortable or scary, yet beneficial, per week

What are your goals for 2011?

photo credit nikeblog.com

So the formal “8 Weeks to 10 K” program I have been working on my ipod officially ended last week, and now in preparation for the race, I’m running an hour a day, 5 days a week…and loving it. 

Can you believe this??  I can’t.  I want every “thick,” “chubby,” “non-athlete,” “un-graceful,” “lazy” (fill in the pejorative descriptor) individual out there to read my post and listen to me when I tell you this:  RUNNING IS 100% MENTAL, AND THERFORE EVERYONE CAN BE A RUNNER.  It is beyond trite in our society to make this statement, but I’m gonna do it anyway: If I can do this, so can you.

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with even just the notion of running.  I hung out in an obscure territory somewhere between reverence and disdain with it.  Now that running and I are connected, I find myself thinking about all these little memories I had tucked away years ago, when I thought I could care less about running….it’s now obvious to me that I actually cared a lot :

 The 90 minutes I arbitrarily banged out on a treadmill at 24 Hour Fitness in Livermore California, homesick as hell for my hometown Boston Massachusetts, tears of joy streaming down my sweaty face as I watched the Sox pound St. Louis in Game 4 of the World Series……The 26.2 miles my 50-something-year-old, non-exercising, cigarette smoking Uncle ran, inspired by the marathon his wife completed the year prior in honor of their 20 year old son who was beating Cancer……The Kenyan woman who described to me that her love and connection to running was so strong she ran for 2-3 days, even sleeping while she ran.What??..…The famous quote of the University of Orgegon Track Coach and Co-Founder of Nike’that launched an ad campaign that changed millions of peoples’ lives with one simple statement: “If you have a body, you’re an athlete.”

So you see running is really just a metaphor for life, and these are the life lessons I’ve learned from it:

Sometimes when you think you hate something (or someone), you’re really just scared of it (them)……If you’re over zealous and under-committed you will self destruct….If you’re a person who truly believes in yourself, you’re a person who knows that the one who never quits will never fail…..Excuses are actually just fear trying to take you out….. Integrity is doing something that you say you’re going to do even when no one is watching.  Running is my integrity.

"You Become What You Think About" -Earl Nightengale

Gateway To Serenity

I was a little anxious about my decision yesterday to do my week 7 “steady 10 K pace” run, outdoors.  It would be the first time in my life that I would attempt to run almost an hour outside.  I have fears that the treadmill makes the running easier and that my newly developed abilities will not translate to pavement.  Todd coached me when I was on my way out the door, and thankfully my heart was open enough to internalize his message.  “You will kill it!  It’s perfect running whether, you are going to get out there, and you are going to kick ass.  Failing at this is not an option.”  When I arrived at the state park, the joy of familiarity washed over me, and I marvelled at the splendor of the vibrant leaves that this late fall has bestowed upon us.  I missed this place.  After taking this photo, I sent Todd a text message: “It is gorgeous here.  I’m going to be fine.”  

And I was…even when I found out there was a family race there that day, that I was not as alone as I had planned, and two 6 year old whizzed by me and left me in the dust…I still kept going.  The goal was 50 minutes today.  I made a deal with myself that I would not watch the clock, and instead I focused on counting my songs and running through 12 itunes before checking my time.  When I began the run it was damp and misty out.  Good for my lungs, but grey and chilly.  I took a new route this time, winding up through the other half of the park, down along the “Avenue of the Pines” and past the Saratoga Tree Nursery.  I wish I had had a camera with me to capture the beauty I saw.  And as my Ipod switched to the twelfth song, I was jogging up a hill that I am all two familiar with, yet remember as being far more taxing then it was yesterday.(another miracle.)  

At the top of the incline, I came out of the grey shadows, and ran into bright sunlight, enveloping me in golden warmth.  I looked at the time, cringing and hoping I was at least near completion, I was tired. 57 minutes.  I did it.