Love Not Lipo ... Live a Little, Love a Lot

Although my progress often feels somewhat intangible to me, it was pretty powerful to take a look at some before and afters 6 months into personal training:

 

Before…                                                After….

(If you want to see the ORIGINAL and most dramatic ”before,” check out the “about tab” of my blog.  At one of my lowest and sickest points, and 80 pounds heavier 15 years ago)  Yes it really has taken 15 years to heal.  This is a process.

Forgive the cheesiness of the myspace-esque self portraits and the scary wallpaper background, but here are a few more “afters” :

My trainer Terry Muscleflow at Global Fitness in Malta and I did a lot of hard work together these last six months, but I would say the biggest shift for me during that time was establishing a new habit of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.  I experienced the sensation of really pushing my body to the physical limit and this is something I never would have been able to do without someone introducing the concept, and motivating me to learn I could do it.  The awesome thing about committing to something for a significant chunk of time is that you establish a new habit or ingrained behavior.  In other words, it no longer feels unatural to work this hard, and in fact it feels unnatural if I work out too easy.

It is at this point after 6 months of personal training that I am going back out on my own armed with these new tools.  I have worked out since I was 16 years old, but I have never felt so innately connected to my physicality, and my bodies need for nutrition and hard core exercise.  The fitness lifestyle is no longer something I have to endure, but rather something that I crave and need to feel “normal.” I’ve noticed that I do not feel upset when I eat certain foods or miss a workout, for I am so certain that these behaviors are hardwired into my lifestyle indefinitely, and therefore there’s never any reason to obsess or feel scared about outcomes.  This is not a race.  Just a lifestyle.

Examples of my lifestyle include an awesome rain soaked run in the state park with my dad and brother, (and Todd and Jake, not pictured):

Plenty of fish and dark green vegetables to eat:

And one of these now and again:

I love visualizing and talking about my body as an efficient fat burning machine.  Thinking in this manner not only makes me feel more relaxed and confident, thus keeping cortisol levels balanced in my bodyand contributing to weight loss, it also makes me feel motivated to continue being active because I am constantly giving myself the message that I am an active person.

Being on my own again without scheduled sessions with my trainer has required that I figure out a way to make sure I am getting a variety of forms of exercise into the nooks and crannies of my week, and balancing that with the proper nutrition the majority of the time, and opportunities to ejoy my favorite foods from time to time as well.  Today I handled this by waking up early and doing this time management and healthy lifestyle exercise:

1)Take a piece of white paper and draw lines vertically dividing it into 4 columns.

2) Above one column write “This weeks meals” and numbers one through six with adequate space between each number, below it.

3) In the second column write at the top “Grocery list”

4) In the third column write “workout schedule” and label it Monday through Saturday with enough space in between below

5) In the forth column write “to do”

Now move forward in filling each colum out.

6) I have no problem eating the same things every day for one week straight.  I eat six small meals so there is enough variation throughout the day, and it saves money and time doing one set menu for a week, then changing it out the following Sunday. In the “this weeks meals column” think of six small (200-300 calorie) balanced meals and write one next to each of the numbers.  Here is my meal plan for the week as an example:

1. 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, mixed with 2 Tbsp dried cranberries, 1 Tbsp Chia seeds, and 2/3 cup unsweetened almond milk (I do not cook my oats, just eat them raw. They absorb the milk and are chewy and delicious.  Sometimes I mix it all together the night before and put it in the fridge and it’s even better.
2. Arbonne protein shake
3. 100 calorie whole wheat bagel thin with 2 oz turkey, spinach, cucumbers, basil and whole grain mustard
4. 1 cut up empire apple, and 1/4 cup mixed nuts
5. 5 ounces salmon or tuna, 2 cups raw spinach tossed with 1 Tbsp vinagrette dressing
6. yogurt, or fruit bar, or skinny cow ice cream sandwich, or fruit salad

7)  Write in the grocery list column anything you don’t have in the house for your weekly meal plan.

8.) In the “work out schedule” column, make a list of everything you intend to do, working it around your committments for the upcoming week. Here’s mine:

1. Sunday (today): Run in the AM, 15 minutes of strength training DVD, plus 20 pushups, and 20 dips
2. Monday: 5am run in the park
3. Tuesday:AM- 5am run in the park PM- stair mill at the gym, 3 sets of lat pull downs, chest presses
4. Wednesday: 5am run
5. Thursday: AM- 5am run, 15 minutes of strength training DVD, 3 sets of each leg-1 minutes of jumping on one foot, hands in prayer position
6. Friday: AM- 5am run
7. Saturday: rest
8. Sunday: AM- run PM- 15 minutes strength training DVD, 20 pushups, 20 dips

9) And finally in the forth column, make a list of everything this week that you need to accomplish that is out of the ordinary.  I have a list of about 8 things listed that have to do with my evo-life business, and my arbonne business.

Todd and I are off to my moms for dinner and wedding planning.

Have a great week!

As I mentioned, I had been on a hiatus from Lovenotlipo for a while, because I had been hard at work on a bunch of very exciting projects!!! It seems that there is never any “perfect” time to reveal everything, for one thing is always hinging on another so without further ado:

1) I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!!!!

Yes, you may not have known I wore braces, because I definitely kept it on the down low for almost two years.  My genetic defect of two baby teeth that never fell out, and my unwillingness to deal with it as a teenager lead me to have to go through this physically, emotionally, and financially, in my thirties.  When I was 16 I told my mom I would get braces when the search for my husband was over, and that’s exactly what I did!  My stubborness simply resulted in my having to pay for it instead of my parents, and my having braces when no one else does, instead of when everyone does!  Whenever I talk about how incredibly thrilled I am to have the braces off, people continue to give me the feedback that they did not even really notice the braces on.  Such a metaphor for life.  The things that bother us the most usually are a non issue for others, whereas the things we should be thinking about how we convey ourselves to others, we miss.

2) I got certified in Hypnotherapy!!  Evo-Life Counseling and Coaching is now a Hypnotherapy Practice too, and I am already busy enhancing the lives of my beautiful clients by installing new mindsets through hypnotherapy.  I am offering incredible discounts for friends and family.  Hypnotherapy provides powerful treatment for smoking cessation, weight loss, sports performance, creativity, sleep disorders, panic disorders…anything you want to ameliorate in your life, so contact me to commence hypnotherapy.

3) Evo-Life got a total Facelift!  The home office needed to reflect the lightness of being the company endorses…

Before:

After:

4) Evo-Life the website got a facelift, and man was it a good team of plastic surgeons!! I hired Simpson Square Media Group to handle my website and media development and words cannot describe how inspiring and creative this process has been.  This team of people is phenomenal, believes in my product, and took my vision to new heights.  This is going to be a big year for Evo-Life, and I am so grateful to have the support of such creative and brilliant professionals at my side.

5) Wedding planning, this really deserves it’s own post.  Stay tuned.  Let’s just say I’m grateful to have a talented mother to help me because without delegating to an artist and event planner I trust as much as my mom, I’m not sure how I would pull off a wedding in…6 months. YIKES!!!

5) Personal training and my fitness goals continue to be an integral part of my life.  Terry pushes me when I cut corners which it’s easy to fall into with everything I’m trying to juggle. When my weight loss slows, I have still lost inches, and I am completely and utterly satisfied with the continued downward trend on the scale that has occurred since mid October of 2011.  I honestly could care less how long it takes to reach my goals.  I have effectively hardwired a wellness lifestyle into the nooks and crannies of my complex schedule, and I feel thrilled to have the structure, support and accountability that Terry’s personal training has afforded me, and I gotta tell ya, I’m looking pretty great lately, and I know for a fact, I will never go back to my former bad habits.  Even my skin is clearer and brighter from fitness and wholesome eating, inordinate amounts of fish and fish oil, and Arbonne vitamins and protein shakes.  Terry reminded me that if I am not fitting cardio in, I need to come up with a new plan.  So for the last month, my beautiful neighbor and I are  getting up at 5AM for runs in the dark 5-6 mornings a week.  We can’t wait till it’s light out!!

6) And finally, who’s excited for Love Not Lipo the book?  I am!  Hard at work writing a page here and there toward’s fufilling my life long dream to be a published author.  Out of my greatest struggles, were to come my greatest gifts.  I have an old friend who reminded me of this message all the time, and it has a new meaning in my life these days.

I feel: Healthy, Strong, Competent, Hopeful.

Fascinating results!!!

It has been a really long week. The kinda week where i want to run away to Aruba or something and not Have to feel. Yesterday morning, I got up in the dark, forced myself to push my legs into my sweatpants before deciding: “ummmm you know what? I really can’t do this today.” and climbed back in my big puffy flannel bed for another hour. It’s been a long time since I pulled one of these stunts. Sooooo, now here I am in the parking lot of Global Fitness, playing a game with myself: “I really don’t feel like it. I can’t. Maybe I just need to rest.” however, life is complicated right now, and I have the sneaking suspicion that taking care of myself in the areas I CAN control (such as exercise) may be beneficial at this time. So with this experiment as my motivator, this is me now:

And I feel: tired, worried, restless, unsure, and cranky.

…..ok let’s roll….

Interval Training and Muscle Confusion:

I have always been of the mindset that the longer the workout the better.  I was so bored with the amount of time spent in the gym that I felt it took to stay in shape, that I was always half-assing the cardio versus weight training.  Usually my pattern was that I would lean more towards one aspect, and the other would suffer.  I really loved getting into the weight training, and made a lot of changes in the shape of my body, but would stay heavy, not doing enough cardio, or the wrong kind.  However I just could not bring myself to invest in the amount of cardio I felt was required to balance it out.  For example, last fall I was training for the 10k.  I was running an hour a day, five days a week.  There really was not much room for weight training.  Maybe a little here and there, but my life was out of balance…and P.S. with all of that grueling physical tax on my body, I think I lost a whopping 5 pounds, which crept back up on me over the course of the year following anyway.

So my training schedule has been running as follows, and I’m feeling different…I feel like I’m gettting results:

3 days a week I train with Terry:  These are 45 minute sessions that start with 5 minute moderate to intense cardio warm up (I’ve been jogging uphill on the treadmill) followed by 10 minutes of stretching, and then 30 minutes of outrageous fitness moves that generally last about 60 seconds, and go through a cycle that’s repeated 2 to 4 times.

Here is a sample of moves we do on a Personal Training Day:

…remember, this is cardio and strength combined!! The steps you see are performed quick aerobic succession!!

Then 2 days a week I do cardio:

Cardio consists of 45 minutes.  Usually I do 22 minutes on the treadmill or elliptical, and 23 minutes on the stair mill.  I break up the workout, and maximize it’s impact by structuring it in intervals.  2 minutes of moderate to high effort, followed by 30-60 second sprint, followed by 2 minute moderate level recovery, and so on.

2 days a week I rest.

Personal Training works for me for two main reasons: 1) I am being offered a range of dynamic moves taught by someone who knows which of those moves make sense for me.  (Terry and I had a fascinating conversation yesterday about how because of his 20 years of training people, body types repeat themselves, and he knows what programs produce what outcomes, for what bodies.)  In other words, the training lacks the arbitrary nature it has when I run my own program.  and 2) I am far more inspired when someone not only encourages me, but gives me their literal scientific observations about what is changing about my body, and the data to prove I am stronger and faster.

Last night and the moment I woke up I was honestly feeling a pretty scared about returning for personal training session number two.  The first workout was somewhat extreme, and my calves and lower bicep, by the inside of my elbow joint was excruciatingly sore and stiff.  The doubts started to creep in.  What if I’m not strong enough for this?  What did I get myself into?  And the most torturous thought…what if I loathe it, and have to go do something I don’t want to do three days a week for months?  I started to wonder if I should just stick to my private comfortable little routine, hiding out in my own little world at the gym, logging the time, never completely sure what results are occurring, but satisfied that I’m doing what I know I should do.

But I got up, got dressed, and as soon as I was driving and watching the sun come up, I noticed I was feeling better.  That seems to be the pattern lately.  I got to the gym half an hour before my session started.  I did 15 minutes of relatively intense cardio on the Cybex Elliptical to warm up.  I’ve been running so much lately, that I rather enjoyed the smooth aspect of the Cybex vs. the treadmill, and was kind of surprised at how intense it felt after a couple minutes, as the smoothness was sort of deceiving at first.  After the 15 minutes, I spent the remainder of time stretching it out.  Terry has emphasized over and over how seriously I need to take the warm up and stretching portion of my workout.  I wonder if he sensed how much I have skimped on this component over the years.  I have to admit, my calves and inner arms were far more warm and pliable by the time our session started and as a result my anxiety began to subside.

Today we did three cycles of intervals of each of the following, converting strength training moves into high intensity cardio:

Hammer Chest Press

Bench Dips

Kettlebell Thrusts

medicine ball torso twists ("Canoes")

Kettlebell Tricep Press

I felt very supported and encouraged, and Terry told me that I have already demonstrated progress since our first session.  I would never be able to push myself on my own to the level of intensity that this workout requires.  It’s ironic because I have always preferred working out alone yet now I can see the value of working out with someone else.

I finished the session feeling absolutely amazing, and optimistic that this new program may shake me out of the lull I have been in for way too long.  The greatest part about this workout was that it was the first phase of the fear leaving me.  I know myself well enough to remember my process: first the fear starts to melt, second my attachment to the activity develops, and finally I internalize the activity as part of me, and move into a place of total comfort and comittment, now just wanting to get better and better.  This is my process in all areas of my life, by the way…far beyond fitness.

Imagine what I would have missed if I had chose to listen to my fears and quit.

What happens when try as you might, you cannot find 26 hours in a day?  How do you formulate your thoughts to your blogging community about how you’ve been making it to the gym about 50% of the established goal time?   What do you say about the fact that you’re not sure how could possibly envision training for a half marathon at this point while working full time and running two businesses?….so what if your NEW goals start to trump your old goals??? 

It is fear of people’s perception of me that was making me hesitate to re-evaluate my goals at this juncture.  I never want to be considered the kind of person who makes all kinds of big proclamations and doesn’t follow through.  However, what a journey I have been on, for it is now that I can see that it is the physical conditioning and detoxification I have undergone since last July responsible for the mental clarity that launched this next phase of my personal and professional development.  I am finally in a place where I am driven and inspired in a context that has no direct or indirect connection with my weight, body image, or relationship with food.   Hallelujah.

How easy it is to counsel in my private practice, or to my best friend: “Don’t be scared to try things.  Life is not finite.  For today, let this be your plan, tomorrow you may feel differently, and that’s wonderful!”   How much harder it is to remember to apply these concepts to my own life.  But it’s true…I am not abandoning running, and I am not abandoning LoveNotLipo.  In fact, recognizing the impact of those two entities in my life makes my heart swell with gratitude, reverance, and love and bring a tear to my eye.  On July 5th 2010 LoveNotLipo was born, and taking my emotional healing and physical conditioning to the next level, I have documented my journey faithfully ever since. 

I am incredibly fulfilled and excited at this point in my life.  I have learned to let some things go, like  I cannot always have immediate gratification for example…my laundry may take 2 weeks to fold…and I may eat protein shakes for dinner for a while.  Yet I have realized other things are far more valuable than I ever knew.  Listening to others is more important than talking…generousity of spirit is more important than being right…succeeding in helping others is more important than being the best…and never quitting is more important than winning. 

I wonder what the next gift will be?  Because I am awestruck that it just keeps getting better. 

I had my Arbonne business launch party this weekend, and I am physically exhausted, and emotionally and spiritually elated.  I  have met the most amazing and beautiful women inside and out, and I feel like a better person every day that I participate in this business model and company culture of self development.  The money and the amazing life changing wellness products are just a bonus.  My heart is open to life lessons that previously still had not been uncovered, no matter how much work I had done on myself, and that is the real gift. 

For today, I will strive to live a life of balance:  Recovery, faith, family, nutrition and physical activity, my career in mental health, and my entrepreneurial enterpises.  For today, this is what I choose.

As my readers know, I’m currently obsessed with Body for Life.  B f L is mostly a strength training program, with a more moderate interval training cardio component.  Lately I’ve been surfing the net to learn new exercises, then I stick them in the Body for Life training format, and keep it fresh.  Thanks to YouTube I’m watching the angle of my tricep re-emmerge.  I’m loving the sense of power I feel propelling my body up a flight of stairs courtesy of 5 sets of 80 pound barbell squats 2 times a week. 

However to keep me thinking forward, and thinking fit, I’ve already started fantasizing about my half marathon.  Granted it may seem kinda silly to be thinking about September in January, but how better to stay true to New Years Resolutions then to continue to think about them all the time?  I printed out the registration form today, and looked at the pictures taken along the route and really felt that pang.  I miss you Running!! I’m excited to see you this Fall!!

So I went with the inspiration, and started researching half marathon preparation and found this cool training schedule:

So according to this program matching up to the calendar/race day, I would start this training program on July 3rd, exactly one year to the exact weekend since I created LoveNotLipo.  That gives me chills. 

I am keenly aware of the fact that many people read along with me could care less about my fitness goals, or their own fitness goals.  But you know what? This is actually not about fitness whatsoever.  Being free from addictions….being happy, is so much about replacing the emptiness inside you with a sense that something matters; that something is bigger than you, that if you just keep having the courage to feel the feelings and show up and be present anyway, no matter what life throws your way, everything will truly all be O.K. in the end.

I always emphasize to my clients the importance of specificity in developing goals.  I made sure I had representation of spiritual,  physical, aesthetic, natural, and financial areas in my goals.  The optimism of a new year has filled me with a freedom and lightness these last few days in reflecting on how I would like to define 2011…. 

• Get fitted for ideal running sneakers by February 1st
• Complete Body for Life by March 5th, then determine next full body fitness program
• Participate in at least 4 community service/charity events this year 
• Redesign my sunroom and office
• Blog 3 times per week minimum
• Limit desert/dark chocolate to 3 times per week
• Facilitate 4 new marketing opportunities for my business
• Pay off 1/3 0f my debt, minimum, by January 2012
• Run the Adirondack Half Marathon this September (so scary, but so exciting) Register by February 1st
• Do or say one thing that is uncomfortable or scary, yet beneficial, per week

What are your goals for 2011?

I was never one to say I dread the holidays.  In fact, I always found it overly dramatic and cliche to comment on the stress of the holidays, and was a big believer in the idea that we control how much stress we allow into our holiday existence, and how much joy we take from it.  I was humbled this Christmas season in that as much as I felt I had “simplified” and as spiritually grounded as I believed I had been coming into December, I struggled this Christmas! 

I noticed an old familiar itchy restless feeling gnawing at me over the course of the last week.  I picked nervously and compulsively at my food instead of eating it confidently for fuel.  I didn’t know what I wanted or didn’t want.  My eyes and skin looked drab and puffy when I looked in the mirror.  I contemplated my relationship with sugar from every possible angle you could imagine.  I didn’t know so many angles of sugar existed!  I found myself distracted by these ideas and less able to focus on and connect with my family and friends.  It was mid-day on December 25th that a wave of relief washed over me when I suddenly remembered this fundamental premise.  Distraction.  That’s what all these obsessive thoughts are.  That’s what an eating disorder is.  That’s what a diet is!  It’s all just distraction.  It’s all just a way to not feel, and to not connect with what’s in front of you.  I reflected on the immensity of the idea of “wasted time” and how wonderful it would be to get back the days we had flushed down the toilet distracted by something that didn’t matter.

Perhaps I didn’t eat an Ultrametabolism Diet over Christmas.  Perhaps I ate more sugar than is my preference.  But my heart swells with gratitude and pride when I remember to refrain from judgement and celebrate the absolutely amazing ways that I take care of myself in so many areas of my life.  When I find my thoughts drifting to being “perfect” a lot, or having the feeling of regret in the pit of my stomach, there are serious clues that that something is off kilter.  I have made it through a holiday season exercising 6 days a week, establishing more intense fitness goals with each passing session, and have continued to prioritize nutritious foods overall regardless of whatever bumps in the road I encountered.  These are the behaviors of a woman who loves and respects herself…a woman who sometimes falls down, and is still OK.  I am far from perfect, but I am authentic…..and I am relentless.  I can promise you that.