Love Not Lipo ... Live a Little, Love a Lot

As I mentioned, I had been on a hiatus from Lovenotlipo for a while, because I had been hard at work on a bunch of very exciting projects!!! It seems that there is never any “perfect” time to reveal everything, for one thing is always hinging on another so without further ado:

1) I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!!!!!

Yes, you may not have known I wore braces, because I definitely kept it on the down low for almost two years.  My genetic defect of two baby teeth that never fell out, and my unwillingness to deal with it as a teenager lead me to have to go through this physically, emotionally, and financially, in my thirties.  When I was 16 I told my mom I would get braces when the search for my husband was over, and that’s exactly what I did!  My stubborness simply resulted in my having to pay for it instead of my parents, and my having braces when no one else does, instead of when everyone does!  Whenever I talk about how incredibly thrilled I am to have the braces off, people continue to give me the feedback that they did not even really notice the braces on.  Such a metaphor for life.  The things that bother us the most usually are a non issue for others, whereas the things we should be thinking about how we convey ourselves to others, we miss.

2) I got certified in Hypnotherapy!!  Evo-Life Counseling and Coaching is now a Hypnotherapy Practice too, and I am already busy enhancing the lives of my beautiful clients by installing new mindsets through hypnotherapy.  I am offering incredible discounts for friends and family.  Hypnotherapy provides powerful treatment for smoking cessation, weight loss, sports performance, creativity, sleep disorders, panic disorders…anything you want to ameliorate in your life, so contact me to commence hypnotherapy.

3) Evo-Life got a total Facelift!  The home office needed to reflect the lightness of being the company endorses…

Before:

After:

4) Evo-Life the website got a facelift, and man was it a good team of plastic surgeons!! I hired Simpson Square Media Group to handle my website and media development and words cannot describe how inspiring and creative this process has been.  This team of people is phenomenal, believes in my product, and took my vision to new heights.  This is going to be a big year for Evo-Life, and I am so grateful to have the support of such creative and brilliant professionals at my side.

5) Wedding planning, this really deserves it’s own post.  Stay tuned.  Let’s just say I’m grateful to have a talented mother to help me because without delegating to an artist and event planner I trust as much as my mom, I’m not sure how I would pull off a wedding in…6 months. YIKES!!!

5) Personal training and my fitness goals continue to be an integral part of my life.  Terry pushes me when I cut corners which it’s easy to fall into with everything I’m trying to juggle. When my weight loss slows, I have still lost inches, and I am completely and utterly satisfied with the continued downward trend on the scale that has occurred since mid October of 2011.  I honestly could care less how long it takes to reach my goals.  I have effectively hardwired a wellness lifestyle into the nooks and crannies of my complex schedule, and I feel thrilled to have the structure, support and accountability that Terry’s personal training has afforded me, and I gotta tell ya, I’m looking pretty great lately, and I know for a fact, I will never go back to my former bad habits.  Even my skin is clearer and brighter from fitness and wholesome eating, inordinate amounts of fish and fish oil, and Arbonne vitamins and protein shakes.  Terry reminded me that if I am not fitting cardio in, I need to come up with a new plan.  So for the last month, my beautiful neighbor and I are  getting up at 5AM for runs in the dark 5-6 mornings a week.  We can’t wait till it’s light out!!

6) And finally, who’s excited for Love Not Lipo the book?  I am!  Hard at work writing a page here and there toward’s fufilling my life long dream to be a published author.  Out of my greatest struggles, were to come my greatest gifts.  I have an old friend who reminded me of this message all the time, and it has a new meaning in my life these days.

This weekend my family and I went to New York to work on my wedding dress.  We started the day by Todd and my step-father watching a telecast of the Lafayette/Lehigh football game at a sportsbar, while my mom and I had a lovely little lunch at Cinema Cafe up the street.  It’s amazing and overwhelming how there are great restaurants like every two feet in The City.  The menu at Cinema was really interesting, and the food was fresh and delicious.  I had an uncharacteristically hard time deciding what to order since there were 5-6 items that we’re totally up my ally.   I finally settled on a salmon sandwich with arugula and saffron mayo on a baguette, cooked rare and to perfection.  My mom and I had a leisurely lunch and caught up on friends, business, the wedding, and life in general…the good, and the not so good.

Next we went shopping at Macy’s and somehow I got out of there without buying anything, particularly a coach bag.  Perhaps the Christmas decorations were fulfilling enough to not need to buy anything…but that’s a stretch.

And finally, we met for the first time with the two amazing women who are making my wedding dress.  I did the initial design myself, but they reworked some of it and enhanced it.  All I can say is, these women are the real deal and have done projects that I won’t begin to get into for the sake of other people’s personal business, but I’m in the big leagues in these womens’ hands.  When she sketched out the back of the dress, my heart swelled with emotion and my eyes filled with tears.  I went back and forth whether to put a “teaser” in the blog, not the actual dress, but an element, but decided against it because I do truly want it to be a surprise.  Just like Todd, I guess my readers will have to wait till October 2012 to see it!!

Yesterday I did a bunch of work that I had to do for the hospital, and spent the rest of the time cooking and doing some seasonal preparation:

cozy winter bedding

new Christmas nightgown that Todd hates

For this week I steamed 3 pounds of broccoli and Cauliflower, and tossed it with chives, parsley, and this emulsion:

• Heat 6 cloves of garlic in 3 Tablespoons of Olive Oil on low for about 10-15 minutes, careful not to let garlic turn brown.
• Juice 3 fresh lemons and put juice in food processor
• Slowly dribble oil/garlic mixture into food processor batch while it is processing so oil emulsifies properly with lemon juice.

I also poached a bunch of salmon in Chicken broth and made some amazing whipped sweet potatoes with rich Greek yogurt and pumpkin pie spice.

And the biggest Health and Fitness news of all:

My Fabulous New Office Fridge!!!

I cannot describe to you how exciting this purchase is for me in terms of lifestyle-ease and creature comforts at work.  Totally worth the seventy five bucks…can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.

This morning was my fourth workout with Terry, and we’re both psyched at how much progress I’m making in such a short time.  He told me I have the gym in my blood, and that I have just begun something that he thinks will change the course of my life forever.  Take weight/body image/numbers/sizes and physical beauty out of the dialogue for a minute…

There is nothing more powerful then getting stronger.

So everyone including me wondered if I would turn into a Bridezilla in the context of planning a wedding on top of having a job, two businesses, and the blog, but the truth is, I  just didn’t.  I wish I could say this is because I’m not a control freak, because I am one, and I wish I could predict if I will remain this calm, but in general I feel relaxed and happy about my wedding plans, largely attributed to my pure intention of marrying my beloved:

The other reason I believe I am calm, is that I am blessed to have my mom be my best friend in helping me design my wedding, and bring to life my family centered, intimate wedding in my favorite place on earth, a what a bonus that it’s my mom’s favorite too!

The third reason I am calm, is that as anyone who follows Lovenotlipo knows, I am filled with peace in Vermont not achieved anyplace else.  The other day we drove there to the venue, to meet with the wedding coordinator and discuss next steps.

I imagine that the place looks just as it will when I get married there next fall.

What happens when try as you might, you cannot find 26 hours in a day?  How do you formulate your thoughts to your blogging community about how you’ve been making it to the gym about 50% of the established goal time?   What do you say about the fact that you’re not sure how could possibly envision training for a half marathon at this point while working full time and running two businesses?….so what if your NEW goals start to trump your old goals??? 

It is fear of people’s perception of me that was making me hesitate to re-evaluate my goals at this juncture.  I never want to be considered the kind of person who makes all kinds of big proclamations and doesn’t follow through.  However, what a journey I have been on, for it is now that I can see that it is the physical conditioning and detoxification I have undergone since last July responsible for the mental clarity that launched this next phase of my personal and professional development.  I am finally in a place where I am driven and inspired in a context that has no direct or indirect connection with my weight, body image, or relationship with food.   Hallelujah.

How easy it is to counsel in my private practice, or to my best friend: “Don’t be scared to try things.  Life is not finite.  For today, let this be your plan, tomorrow you may feel differently, and that’s wonderful!”   How much harder it is to remember to apply these concepts to my own life.  But it’s true…I am not abandoning running, and I am not abandoning LoveNotLipo.  In fact, recognizing the impact of those two entities in my life makes my heart swell with gratitude, reverance, and love and bring a tear to my eye.  On July 5th 2010 LoveNotLipo was born, and taking my emotional healing and physical conditioning to the next level, I have documented my journey faithfully ever since. 

I am incredibly fulfilled and excited at this point in my life.  I have learned to let some things go, like  I cannot always have immediate gratification for example…my laundry may take 2 weeks to fold…and I may eat protein shakes for dinner for a while.  Yet I have realized other things are far more valuable than I ever knew.  Listening to others is more important than talking…generousity of spirit is more important than being right…succeeding in helping others is more important than being the best…and never quitting is more important than winning. 

I wonder what the next gift will be?  Because I am awestruck that it just keeps getting better. 

I had my Arbonne business launch party this weekend, and I am physically exhausted, and emotionally and spiritually elated.  I  have met the most amazing and beautiful women inside and out, and I feel like a better person every day that I participate in this business model and company culture of self development.  The money and the amazing life changing wellness products are just a bonus.  My heart is open to life lessons that previously still had not been uncovered, no matter how much work I had done on myself, and that is the real gift. 

For today, I will strive to live a life of balance:  Recovery, faith, family, nutrition and physical activity, my career in mental health, and my entrepreneurial enterpises.  For today, this is what I choose.

It is not a coincidence or cause for concern that I haven’t written since (ugh) February 3rd!  In fact let me just clear the air and say I haven’t worked out in a week either!  This is one of those rare and special times when my goals were trumped temporarily by a new and broader goal.  10 days ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop with my mom, with the intention of just catching up, and being a support to one another on the various projects we’re working.  My mom was telling me about the new nutrition and wellness products that her company Arbonne had launched, and some of her plans regarding the marketing of this amazing line.

Have you ever had an experience where you suddenly feel incredibly connected to your center?  The noise around you starts to fade out, your mind begins to turn, your thoughts start to clear up to an incredible focus, and you know a new truth?  Well this is what happened to me, and it suddenly dawned on me.  O..m…g…, why was I not ready for this sooner?  For whatever reason, it is only now abundantly clear that being involved in this company is exactly what I need.

training day

In the last two years, I have been blessed by a journey of determining who I truly am at my core, what my professional goals are, but more importantly, what my philosophy of life is, and how that infuses the choices that I make in what I say to people and how I spend my time every day.  Since a windy October afternoon last fall, I have walked around with the voice of Arbonne President Rita Davenport echoing in my head and guiding my personal and professional practice.  And until last Sunday, I was unconscious of the fact that that this speech had propelled and fine tuned my belief that people succeed and find joy, abundance, and total fulfillment when they live a life of self care, discipline, and above all else, service and generosity to others.

It may sound rather silly to you that I am asserting that an anti aging skin care and wellness product line is the foundation of this emotional decision in my life; But it’s actually incredibly symbolic, because the philosophy of not just the business, but the actual products themselves are in direct line with my core beliefs that inform my life every day:  1) lovingly providing your body with the purest and healthiest ingredients is the absolute basic first step in radiating the love, energy, and generosity of spirit that brings one utter fulfillment.  2) you will always succeed in life when your mission is sharing the message of possibility, promise, hope, and empowerment.

Why ever would I not want to be part of a company where this is literally what they stand for?

my new bosses

In every free moment of my already very full life, I have spent the last 10 days immersing myself in both the products and the business and I have never felt more connected and alive then I do at this moment.  And the biggest irony, is that this has been a helluva week in terms of life fiascoes being thrown at me in every direction.  I feel that I’m glowing from the inside.  I am hydrated, and nourished, and my fine lines are dissolving right before my very eyes!  Body image issues/compulsive is the last thing on my mind…there is just no room for toxicity like that when your heart is full.

I have always been aversive to the sales industry, and never in a million years thought I would go that route.  The reason being, was simple:  I have a core belief that authenticity and truth is the only solution…But when you have fallen in love with a product and you talk about it, it is no longer “sales,” it is bestowing beautiful, life changing information.

Why it was last Sunday that the message connected, I’ll probably never know.  But I am eternally humbled and awestruck by the plans that unceasingly roll out in front of me, with their mysterious and interwoven complexities, when all I do is quite simply continue to show up every day, put one foot in front of the other, with the goal of being the best woman I can be.

I am so busy lately trying to launch some new projects, but I’m the kind of person, where if I let it, I can quickly drop all the balls I’ve got in the air.  Therefore, I am going to try to stay committed to my blog regularly, even if it means the postings have to be short and sweet, so here’s what I’ve been thinking about that may be of value to some, and yet possibly ridiculous to others:

• My hands are aging faster than any other part of my body!  What a weird thing!  I have never had pretty hands or nails, and I think I’ve finally accepted that short, clean, square nails are truly where it’s at for me, and I’m ok with it. 

• I thought I was good at multi-tasking, but I’m getting better.  I have a bathroom/dressing room, and I LOATHE straightening it up (ie hanging up clothes) when I haven’t kept up on keeping it neat (which is usually.)  I also LOATHE my evening routine of packing all my stuff for the gym in the morning, and finding an outfit for work tomorrow.  These tasks combined with washing my face etc. seem to take forever!  My new strategy is to race upstairs when I get home from work, and return outstanding phonecalls, while neatening up my bathroom and packing clothes for the gym.  Once the tasks are complete, I feel much more relaxed blogging or working on my other enterprises.  This is a “worst first” approach, and it also ensures that I will not procrastinate in calling people back, always looking for the elusive “perfect time” that never comes.  I go into my evening feeling less pressured to head up to get ready for bed because I’m already organized. 
• I love to be organized, it is not innate, so I have to work harder at it, and be far more disciplined than perhaps the average person, but making organization a priority in my life has completely turned my world around.
• Fear is the single most thing that stands in the way of achieving my big dreams.  Several years ago, the prospect of having a private practice felt so intangible and unrealistic.  Yet in the blink of an eye and without much planning on my part, I was moving into a house with coincidentally the ideal layout for running a practice from home.  I listened to the signs, and the rest they say is history.  I’m sitting in my “office” right now.

"Cozy, right?"

Not only was this dream achieved, it almost seems like “no big deal” now.  Imagine if let fear get in the way of pursuing the practice?  Imagine what it would feel like to always wonder “what if?”  Imagine if I stopped there, and didn’t realize that when you accomplish something big, it means now you can accomplish something BIGGER. 

I have some big dreams I’m about to tackle, and everyone who succeeded at something big was one of the people who didn’t let fear stop them from seeing how far they could go….

Thanks to the “recalibration session,” yesterday was a total success!  Actually, not only did the day turn out rewarding and exciting, it actually opened up some new doors for me that I will share more about in the upcoming months after I work out some details.  What I can share about now is the delicious food I prepared for the week:

Breakfast: Honey Greek Yogurt with Walnuts, Coconut, and Banana for breakfast…

Broccoli “Pasta” with sauteed mushrooms, feta, parsley, and ground chicken meatballs for lunch…

An Ezekial Cinnamon Raisin Flourless Sprouted Grain English Muffin (chewy, dense, and YUMMY!!!!) with 1 Tbsp Almond Butter for snack…

For dinner I had essentially the same thing as lunch, but with big green garlic olives, feta, and parsley…

Mixed Berry Soy smoothie with cinnamon and stevia for desert! 

After I finished making all this, I raced off to Albany to make it to Fleet Feet in time to get fitted for my sneakers.  The customer service was amazing, and my buddy Max not only used one of these: (1982 throwback)

He observed me walk on a tiny indoor track, and then watched me run on a treadmill to see how my feet strike the ground.  Based on these assessments, he explained to me in lingo I did not retain the reasons why he was about to pick the shoes he picked.  He brought out three pairs, and we scrutinized each, one at a time.  After walking around and running on the treadmill for all 3, we finally ruled out the Adidas, the Asics, and settled on the winner, the Saucony Progrid Omni 9.   

They are far more sturdy feeling than my Nike Shox, and were the least “intrusive” of the three that I tried.  Max told me that the sneakers that you can feel the least, are the best choice.  It feels so reassuring to know I have footwear that is appropriate for my particular body.  Inspired by the whole process, and having met another one of my New Years Goals, I decided it was indicated to splurge a little more and buy some new running clothes.

When I was checking out, another really nice kid asked me “are you training for a race m’aam?”  How good do you think it felt to say, “well, I’m gonna run a half marathon in September.”

2 years ago I would have never believed you if you told me I was gonna have this experience.  Life is so funny.

I left the store feeling motivated and inspired, the perfect “refresh” I have been needing in my life lately.  I raced up to Clifton Park to meet my mom at an adorable place she’d suggested Mocha Lisa’s.  How have I not heard of this place??  I will certainly be bringing my honey back here for an inexpensive cozy date some lazy weekend afternoon. 

Well we had a lovely time, and definitely got each other inspired on some things to come…let’s just say it’s the next major step in my journey.   Stay tuned!!!!

 Yesterday morning my client brought me these beautiful branches.  I already had some Bittersweet branches, which are a very well done artificial variety, so I decided to mix in the real stuff for a breathtaking arrangement.  I am so amazed that colors like this exist in nature….and at how good they look with my blue walls!!   

Later that afternoon, we went back to my parents house to help them out again.  When the finished product is put together I’ll post some pictures.  My mom will not let me post the disarray going on currently, but believe me, it will be worth it when it’s done!  Afterwards, we went over to Melissa and Dave’s and played with them, two little girls, Rianna and Sarah, and two hotdogs, Tutter and Rosie. 

Such a great time, and so nice to relax and not have to do anything except gossip and laugh.  We had Indian food for dinner from Sitar and I have to say, it was unequivocally the best Indian Food I’ve ever had in my life.  Even Todd, who thinks he does not like Indian food, took a break from his Chicken Parm sub we ordered seperately for him, and enjoyed a sample of Tiki Masala.  “I would eat this in a restaurant sometime.”  Horray!  A new option for date night!!

When I woke up this morning I was a little anxious because I have had the task of cooking and packaging dark chocolate candy cane fudge for my staff over my head for several weeks, and today it was finally time.  As delicious and cute a gift as fudge is to give, it is definitely a trigger food to me, and my eating has not been as clean as I would like it to be the last couple weeks.  I started the day off right and had this Vanilla Peanut Butter Smoothie.

• 1 cup Silk Orignal Flavor Soymilk
• 1 scoop Vanilla protein powder
• 1 Tbsp peanut butter
• dash of cinnamon
• 3 ice cubes

But even so, I did find myself compulsively sampling little slivers and crumbs of fudge, and started feeling a little panicky, sugar-drunk and sick, and called a dear friend  of mine who I knew would get it, for support.  We talked about how off kilter our body image and behaviors can become if we get stuck in the cycle of perfectionism and shame, and ultimately made a plan to let it go and move on with the day healthfully and gently.   

“And you gotta remember, the holidays are bittersweet Claire,” she reminded me. 

“Yeah Ghiradelli bittersweet chocolate fudge with candy canes….I’m dying over here,” and we laughed.

I hung up the phone having moved from shameful, guilty, sick from the sugar, and anxious I wouldn’t stop eating it, to grateful that I had been able to get out of myself enough to acknowledge that support from someone like me would help me right then, and miraculously, the sugar craving and sick feeling of regret, was lifted.  This is a big deal for in my the sicker times of days gone by, I would never have asked for help situations like this.  Regardless of what our individual issue is, (mine is an eating disorder) I believe we all will always have skeletons in the closet who try to come out and visit from time to time.  I know that I handle my visitors differently at this point in my life, and it requires my doing things differently, not doing it alone, and sometimes being uncomfortable.

I love the Serenity Prayer, because it is truly a simple little formula for living, and you can apply it to any situation where you feel scared or unsure:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (In this case, eating the fudge I didn’t want to eat)….The courage to change the things I can (In this case asking for help to get through it, and continuing to make healthy loving choices for myself with no interuption–a nice nutritious dinner, and a good “Body for Life” workout in the morning)….And the wisdom to know the difference.”

I feel happier and more relaxed now that the treats are all packaged up and ready to go to go to my staff in the morning.  I have learned that when it comes to fudge, I get more pleasure from giving then from indulging.  An occassional treat can be a wonderful thing, but it’s pretty important to understand which foods you can be safe and healthy with, and which foods may lead you too far astray from where you wish to be.  I think I may have determined that I am a girl who has no business eating fudge.

Thanks to my friend Kathleen who reminded me today that I forgot to comment on coffee in the context of Ultrametabolism.  She said that she noticed herself shut down to this program when she read that following ultrametabolism means giving up coffee as well.  Here’s what I say to that:  I have given up alcohol, cigarettes, sugar, flour, and processed foods of all kinds.  I run 4 miles a day 5 days a week, and for today, I am not giving up coffee.  Coffee is not going to be the thing that makes or breaks this program.  I will however compromise and work towards changing my relationship with coffee by having 1 cup a day (maybe two if I go on a coffee date with my honey) and I will drink it with plain soy milk, and no artificial sweetener.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned along the bumpy road that is my journey, it’s that trying to give things up before you’re truly ready is futile, and sets you up to feel bad about yourself.  That being said, the key to success is having a heart that is open to the possibility of change, no matter how slow the pace towards acquiring it. 

Someday I will give up coffee…just not for today.

I did not consciously realize why I didn’t tell you about this before, until tonight.  A couple months ago I met my new Doctor, Diane MacDonnell at North Country Holistic Health.  I even took this picture with the intention of blogging about what a great experience it was getting to know Dr. MacDonnell and her holistic practice.   My search for finding the right doctor, and the bumps and scrapes I went through along the way is another story for another time, but I’ve finally found her, and I think I know the reason I waited so long to get into it.  Dr. MacDonnell made a number of suggestions, many of which I have taken, but there was one I was not willing to take: my eating plan.

For the last six weeks I have eaten what I was considering to be a pretty perfect diet, and my connectedness and follow through with running has been at an all time high, and yet the scale hovered up and down, stuck in the same three pound range.  My positive mental and spiritual energy did a decent job warding off the fear and negative self talk that inevitably comes creeping around at times like these, and I made a plan I feel good about to move my weigh-ins to once a month.   

However, there are some undeniable facts remaining.  I am not losing the weight at the rate that it seems that I should be considering my caloric intake and intense level of activity.  My doctor made a suggestion about a diet she thinks would be helpful, not only for weight loss, but for recalibrating my damaged metabolism, and achieving overall optimal quality of life.  Ultrametabolism.  I bought the book, read it, and was left feeling overwhelmed by the sacrifices and commitment the diet requires.  So for the last couple months I opted not to follow it, pretended that the conversation with my doctor never happened, yet was left with nagging thoughts about my metabolism being in a rut and my reliance on certain types of foods.  I wondered, how can we ever really complain about our outcomes if we are still unwilling to go to any lengths to make change that we say we desperately want? 

I met a gorgeous brunette named Lisa this weekend.  This tall and athletic woman with shiny hair, and flawless skin described to me her complex nutritional needs based on a doctor prescribed eating plan tailored to her body type.  She told me about overcoming her battle with laxative abuse, Bulimia, and how she ultimately lost 60 pounds following this specific food plan.  When she outlined for me the details of what she eats and doesn’t eat, I was stunned, wondering how she could possibly tolerate being this limited and regimented.  However Lisa went on to tell me something that may just change my life, if I can manage to stay connected to her sentiment as I am right now.  She said “The pain and deprivation is not about the food.  The struggle exists only in not accepting my reality.  Once I just accepted, this is the way I may have to eat to get the outcomes I say I want, the pain melted away, and was replaced with the joy of freedom from my war with food.”      

My life is a process.  I do not believe in “get thin quick” schemes, nor is my life focus about being skinny.  For the last 15 years or so, I have slowly modified my existence, with the goal of becoming a more whole, and healthier woman, one teeney step at a time.  When I actually stop and look at the package of growth and change produced by all of those baby steps added together, I am truly astounded by what I see.  So I’m writing tonight to tell you that I guess I’m ready to take another step.

Stay tuned for my account of phase 1, Ultrametabolism Detox….